


From The Dining Table

by tekoteko



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27387169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tekoteko/pseuds/tekoteko
Summary: In which Bokuto and Akaashi's life after break up.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Miya Osamu, Bokuto Koutarou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	From The Dining Table

**Author's Note:**

> actually, this is a continuation from my thread in twitter. you can read that here: https://twitter.com/JunbunraraJun/status/1307818551672143872?s=20
> 
> but you can also read it alone.

If someone ever asked them when did all change the answer would be nowhere to be found but real to be seen.

For Akaashi, it is when he can't find himself anymore in Bokuto's eye. When he is not the person that man craves anymore. When he is no longer a person who can warm the ice in his heart. When he is not a lover he lives with. When he suddenly realized that he is just a partner who that man shared the house with. When he became something that can be replaced by the time. Something that can be substituted by anybody. At that time, Akaashi knew that he is not beloved anymore.

For Bokuto, it is when Akaashi start looking away when they have sex. It is when that man starts fidgeting his fingers again. It is when kissing looks like a burden for him. It is when work became something more entertaining rather than talking with him. It is when Bokuto doesn't feel special anymore. At that time, he realized that the light inside his heart had been dimmed by the time. 

* * *

Then this question appeared when the night couldn’t drown him to the land of dreams.

Was i ever enough?

The question haunted him like a hunter waiting for their prey to walk by themselves to the bait. 

It's about the rings that Atsumu got from Bokuto. Five years together he never got the ring. He never got something that assured him, for they always be a lover, for they always be together, for that man wants to tie the ribbon with him.

Every time Akaashi bringing up the issue the man will tossed the idea off the table, looking uninterested or simply said that he is not ready. They are not going anywhere. They are stuck and Akaashi want to move his life forward. It’s not have to be Bokuto who bought the ring. Akaashi already have the ring since two years ago but can't give that to him because Bokuto keep joking that he is not a married man. Akaashi doesn't have any courage to bring up the issue anymore, so the ring just got stored in deepest part of their wardrobe.

But when Atsumu showed off the ring that Bokuto gave him made that man think. Maybe Bokuto just doesn't want to be with him as much as he wanted. Maybe that sort of act and reason he said all the time because Akaashi is not enough for him. No, maybe he was actually never enough for him.

* * *

December 5th, 2019

That day Akaashi spent his birthday with Osamu. This is the first time since he can remember he spent this day with someone other than Bokuto. It was always with Bokuto since they made a promise. That they'll celebrate Akaashi's birthday together, forever. 

The broken promises

Akaashi came home late that day and found Bokuto already sleeping on the couch while the TV was still on. Above the table, there are cakes and drinks that he arrange neatly. Ah, he is waiting for him to celebrate his birthday together. 

The promise became a habit. Even after both of them already breakup and have other partners, habit is habit. It makes them do that unconsciously.

Akaashi blew a deep sigh. Bokuto texted him that day, saying that he is waiting to celebrate that day with Akaashi but Akaashi just ignored that message because he is busy with Osamu. Didn't know that he is really waiting for him.

Turning off the TV and putting the cake into the fridge, Akaashi carried Bokuto to his room. Sorry, he whispered before kissing the man's forehead and putting the blanket on him. 

I can't spend it with you, not anymore, he said but fell asleep beside the man because he missed him so much despite saying those words.

* * *

January, 2020

The next year when Bokuto had a home match against the Adlers, Akaashi went to watch his game with Osamu. That man is still endearing whenever he is on the court. Akaashi can't help but reminisce about their memories.

How they meet. The love at the first sight, the sneaking out after practice (just two of them) to ramen stall in the afternoon (saying that was not a date but it was a date) or how Bokuto suddenly called him in the middle of the night because he missed him after he graduated. The confessions at the aquarium. Those long distance relationship times until they decided to have a place together. The excitement when looking for apartments. Those newly married jokes. Those passionate love, sexy times, and heartwarming moments. 

Ah, Miruku. He remembers when Bokuto cried after seeing their little baby can do littering alone. He was so proud and Akaashi found it cute. There are also nights where Bokuto looks at Miruku with jealousy because she likes to sleep with Akaashi and takes his bedside, so Bokuto has no other choice but sleep in different rooms. 

Akaashi smiled. It was so beautiful. Five years and he does not regret any single thing But the truth is the truth. What already happened between them is proof that both of them are not trying hard enough. They run away and give up silently. 

Akaashi looks at Osamu who enjoys the match. He linked their hands, making Osamu tilt his head with funny smiles.

"What?"

"Nothing, i just wanted to do it"

Osamu lean to him and whispered to his ears, "Then do you also want to kiss me, because i felt like i want to"

Right. He has his second chance but not with Bokuto. He has a chance with Osamu. This time, he doesn't want to make a mistake. He wants to treasure 'them' more. 

He kissed the man on the lips lightly. Thank you, he said. Osamu just smiled softly. He returned the kiss. I love you, he said.

With the hands linked to each other, Akaashi watched the match with realization. He saw Bokuto doing 'the beam' to the other side. There was a man he aimed for, it was Atsumu who sat near the court. He held Osamu's hand tighter.

That day he realized he can love Bokuto with everything he has, but he can't love him very much.

* * *

April, 2020

Akaashi finally moves out in spring with Osamu. The date has already settled and Akaashi started packing by himself a week before the date. The room became bigger every day and boxes started to fill the hallway. At first Bokuto helped him to pack his stuff but he moved too slow and Akaashi just finished everything by himself in the end. 

It is not because he isn't sincere about offering hands. It's just the more he puts that man's stuff in the box, the more his mind gets distracted by painful thoughts.

Does he really have to go?

Can't he stay here with him and Miruku?

Yes, they already broke up last year but this place is also his.

How could he leave this place easily like that? 

After leaving with Akaashi for years, after seeing that man first every time he opened his eyes, to think that he is no longer by his side made his chest feel heavy. 

So, Osamu huh?

Intend to marry, he said, haha.

Bokuto knows that Akaashi really wants to have his own family. That man keeps bringing up the issue if he sees the chance but Bokuto doesn't want to rush everything. They are still young. For fucking sake, he is still 27. He still wants his freedom. He is just not ready to be someone's husband.

Why does Akaashi look like he really wants to marry?

He has a good career, good life, a boyfriend, a cat. This whole thing is already beating the marriage idea. 

Then why is he so obsessed with that idea?

Does he ever mention the reason? 

Ah, he never mentioned it because Bokuto always shuts him up before he can speak. Akaashi is an overthinking person. Once he sees the sign that Bokuto doesn't want to talk, he'll never push him and Bokuto uses that knowledge a lot to run away from certain topics.

Bokuto staring at Akaashi who is now busy talking to Miruku about his new series. They are lovely. A wave of sadness came to wash him away. The worst thing, even after everything, is the fact that he still loved that man and still wanted him to be his but knew that everything already happened and he didn't regret anything. It's weird. Bokuto also doesn't understand what that means but that is exactly what is meant.

Akaashi will be married in august with Osamu. 

Married.

Something that he can never give to Akaashi.

The day when Akaashi moved out, Bokuto couldn't send him away. It felt so wrong so he turned his back when the man bid his goodbye for the last time.

"Do you really don't want to face me, Bokuto-san?"

Bokuto-san, he said.

He'll never hear that again after this. 

Bokuto is just shaking his head.

"Haaaah, but i do want to see you. Looking at your back like this feels sad. It looks like we are fighting and i don't like that. So please, let me bid my farewell nicely"

But Bokuto just stood silent and shook his head.

"Bokuto-san", and Bokuto shoulders start trembling. 

Akaashi steps forward and hugs him from behind. Don't cry, he said which Bokuto responded with i am not crying. Yes, he lied but no one wanted to point that out. Even Miruku just sits in front of Bokuto and stares at his dad silently.

"We can still hang out together. It is not far, just two stops away. Osamu and Atsumu are siblings. We still meet each other through them, funny right?"

"Not funny"

Silence filled the room. Akaashi hugged him tightly and rested his head on Bokuto's shoulder. When the last time they did back hugged like this. Bokuto always feels warm. Akaashi already missed him.

His tears keep falling but Bokuto chooses to play with Akaashi's delicate hand that wraps his waist right now. He got new paper cut on his pinky while the one on the thumb doesn't heal yet. Where the last time he took care after Akaashi's fingers like he used to do. He was so busy with Atsumu lately.

After a while, Akaashi spoke again. "Don't be sad. It's just me that no longer lives here. Miruku is still here. I'll visit you, okay. Look. She is watching his dad crying with confusion"

Bokuto finally turned around. They hug for a while and Akaashi bid his farewell until his phone rings and that is the sign that they have to separate that day. Before he steps outside the apartment, before the door opens and he disappears, Bokuto encourages himself to ask.

"Akaashi, can i kiss you for the last time?"

Akaashi gave him a warm smile. He surely was going to miss this man. 

Akaashi did not answer him directly but opened his arm and closed his eyes. So Bokuto stepped forward and kissed his cheek softly. Take care, he said while hugging him again.

"Yeah, you too and take care after Miruku, okay. Don't give her so much snack"

"Hahaha, okay dad"

And Akaashi officially leaves the house. 

* * *

August 2nd 2020

August 2nd is a favorable day for everyone. The smiles got bigger and bigger by the time. Atsumu squeezed his arm with excitement in his seat. "I don't believe he's married, Bokkun. That brother of mine is really grown up. Like, GOD, you really don't want to missed Akaashi-kun, huh Samu?"

Bokuto just laughed along in excitement. "Hahaha, i am waiting for Osamu's reaction when he sees Akaashi's walk into the aisle"

"Bokkun, you also haven't seen him right? He is really beautiful, dressed in baby blue like that. I bet you also got flabbergasted when he come" 

"Hahaha, I don't know but he always looks stunning, doesn't he?"

"Yes-yes, he did. Ughh, now i hate Osamu's suit more. What a good decision to not dress all black like Samu. What was he thinking? Funeral?"

"But black is Osamu's color. He looks beautiful like that"

"Nah, he looks boring to me. I've been looking at him wearing that color since i was born till i don't want to wear black anymore. It's your wedding. Wear something other than black like your graduations suit"

"Then, let's wearing soft pink when we have a chance, Tsumu"

"Soft pink? Silly but cute. Let's wear that color"

They keep talking, everyone keeps talking until the MC, Sugawara Koushi steps into the podium and leads the wedding nicely. When Akaashi walked into the isle with his dad, indeed, everyone got flabbergasted. That man who was already stunning now became so enchanting. Bokuto even forgot to look at Osamu's face. 

Akaashi walked with a smile on his face. His gaze can't hide the happiness inside him. Osamu cries a little when they stand side by side and makes Atsumu also cry. Is it siblings things? Weird, because Bokuto is also about to cry.

When the vow began, it felt so sacred that no one dared to breathe. 

**With this hand,**

**I will lift your sorrow**

**Your cup will never be empty,**

**For i will be your wine**

**With this candle,**

**I will light your way into darkness**

**With this ring,**

**I ask you to be mine.**

There it is, Bokuto said to himself while watching Akaashi say yes and kissed by Osamu softly in front of everyone. That man hugged Akaashi's waist dearly. 

He unconsciously holds Atsumu's hand tighter. It's strange. Suddenly everything looks weird, making his stomach swirl in a bad circle. It is unspeakable sadness that filled his heart watching that man kissed by the others. Ah, there's also anger inside him. Jealousy? What was Akaashi's feel when he saw him and Atsumu having sex in his room before. Is it the same feeling or is it even worse? How was his expression that day? Bokuto doesn't remember.

Whatever it is, he should let the man go completely. He has Atsumu that he should treasure right now. He doesn't want to make the same mistake. Akaashi got what he wants so he should pursue his own happiness now. If it is with Atsumu then Bokuto should treat him more nicely.

He turned his head, watching at Atsumu who was already crying. He ran his fingers to swipe the tears away. 

"I love you, Tsum-Tsum", and Atsumu cries harder.

_ Goodbye Akaashi. Thanks for everything. I'll remember us. Please be happy with Osamu, because i also gonna do that with Atsumu right now. _

_**.** _

_**.** _

_**.** _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading it. i am sorry if you found lot of mistake, hehe.


End file.
